Updated: Jul 27, 2019
I look back at my life with gratitude. The losses have led me to be found. And what I found is a woman built of love. It is such a blessing to be able to carry forth what has served my life and let the rest be ashes to ashes. Letting go in my eyes never means putting things in the closet and forgetting about them. It means rising with the experiences and allowing them to be a part of me. It is now my drive.
Challenges are my favorite part of life because I love seeing what the power of love and trust can do.
Oh, what a time it has been. I have felt anger, sadness and happiness. Met shame, hated it. Went from not crying for years to crying everyday through joy and sorrow. I have played with the elements, conversed with the exotic minds, romanced my creativity and found elegance in simplicity. I became more curious about shit people don’t talk about and then talked about it. Oops;) I lived on the edge, studied at the feet of masters, depended on others, it sucked. I said yes lots, said no lots, said“ fuck it” more than my share. I found my wild, stood still in time and saw glitter in the air.
Life gifted me with joy so that I could giggle at the coincidences and allow laughter to heal me. I saw the worlds beauty and loved my people more and more. I picked up a pen and graced the paper with my truth. I looked at death, told it I loved it and kissed it goodbye. I said NO to a history of mental health in my DNA that is now healed for me. I forgave a man of my own blood and accepted that his journey is his journey into the darkness. I have met many foreign hearts and witnessed the Universe' master plan; resisted it and created a void only to discover that the current of the river would take me to a far greater source if I let go and flow.
I got rid of the things holding me back which led me to be naked and vulnerable where I saw the beauty in my own scar tissues. I Fell madly for a true masculine which allowed my feminine to bloom with grace. I collapsed with grief and had my darling love, who is now my angel above, pick me back up and show me family, community, and strength. Lastly, I grew my own wings of courage that will carry me forth into all the unknown.